Monday, August 30, 2010

The Guy's Side

Ladies, sometimes we have to extend a little sympathy to the other side. I received this not too long ago and thought it deserved being shared with y'all.  I can hear the guys shouting in the "amen corner" already!

Rules from the Male Side.

1.  Learn to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl.  If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down!

2.  Shopping is Not a Sport. And no, we are not ever going to think of it that way.

3.  Crying is Blackmail.

4.  Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one.  Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

5.  Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

6.  A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.

7. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

8.  If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.

9. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

11. You have enough clothes.

12.  You have too many shoes.

13. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.

15. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong.

16. Don't ask what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to talk about things like baseball, the shotgun formation, monster trucks, hunting, etc.

17. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

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